A new website is like a new baby

As a recent new father, I’ve learned quickly how to adapt to my new lifestyle.

I can multitask better (cutting carrots and nursing the baby, while browsing Facebook) and function without much sleep.

During one of my more lucid moments at 3am, it occurred to me that my new baby boy is much like a brand new website.

It sounds strange, but let me give some examples that prove the point:

1. A new website is clean as a new baby pure. It is the best code you have ever written. It is full of potential and you have great expectations for it. The design is fresh and to your eyes, the most beautiful website ever created. You brag to your friends about how great your website is and show them photos of it.

 

1. A new website has bugs as a baby has germs. A developer will tell you that their site is bug-free as is a newborn who has had no contact with Grandma. But once one bug is found, more follow and eventually your website has a cold, or worse, colic.

 

1. A 24 hour labour is akin to the all-nighter prior to a website launch. The 9 months of development of your website all comes to a defining moment when you don’t sleep all night just so you can push the thing out the door.

 

1. A website launch is as scary as the first week with a newborn is terrifying. After the big launch, there is a brief calm period when everything seems good. The world didn’t end. But then the website starts crying for no reason and you have tried every fix from your checklist. As long as you remain calm you will get through it.

 

1. A new website needs attention at 2am and 5am as does a hungry newborn. We’ve all had to handle emergency requests on our new website launch during the night hours. Sometimes you can just give them a bottle and they go back to sleep, but more often than not you are up for hours trying to burp them.

 

1. Changing nappies is like blasting through Jira tickets. After a while you can do it one handed. And blindfolded.

 

1. People you’ve barely met can’t wait to spend money on it. Your new ecommerce website has barely launched and already people who you’ve only talked to in elevators or at distant family reunions are queuing up to handover their credit card details in order to get a brief cuddle and tell the parents how wonderful the website is.

 

1. A website gets an overhaul as your baby gets new outfits. As your website outgrows its original requirements, you need to bolt on extra functionality and give it a new lick of paint. You know it’s coming from the outset, but nothing prepares you for the pain caused by teething, or dodging the prams at Target when trying to get the last 00 sized onesie off the sales rack.